the CIVIL warS: A tree is best measured when it is down

This Old Clotheshorse knows the importance of Robert Wilson. The Keeper told him.

Tacks on the Kitchen Floor - Robert Wilson

So the Keeper of the Boneyard was dusting off the headstones, muttering about Wilson:

"Words for Bob are like tacks on the kitchen floor in the dark of night and you’re barefoot. So Bob clears a path he can walk through words without getting hurt. Bob changes the values and shapes of words. In some sense they take on more meaning; in some cases, less.”

The Keeper of the Bamba

Southside Johnny and the LaBamba Big Band

So it appears the Keeper of the Graveyard has been haunting the world of Southside Johnny. You couldn't find a better world to haunt. Anyway along with the LaBamba Big Band, Johnny has released an album of Tom Waits covers. The Keeper himself sings along on "Walk Away."

Apparently Southside Johnny and the LaBamba Big Band are "appearing" at the Nokia Theater in New York City on Friday, October 24th. While the Keeper will not be there in person, his spirit has already his train ticket booked.

Harbor Lights - Elvis Presley (1954)

I'm sure the Keeper of the Graveyard would appreciate this

Tom Waits Dublin 2008 31.07.08

This old clotheshorse wishes he could have been there. Sorry Keeper of the Graveyard.

Tom Waits Dublin 2008 31.07.08

The Keeper of the Park - Coz He Has No Time

Showbiz.ie trying to get a photo of the Keeper on the streets of Dublin bemoaning their bad luck.

Comments anyone:

"celebrities eh?"...........lads if ye had any idea of how stupid that sounds when ur talkin bout tom waits......the man couldnt be further from that,ever wonder why ye wouldnt know him from a line up.........coz he has no time for the rubbish that goes with so called "celebrity".........unlike most of the bimbos on this!


"Waits is a TOTAL legend. Great concert in the pheonix park last night, best I've been at in a long time. TOM WAITS IS A GOD!!!!"

You Dated My Mother - Tom Waits Press Conference

The Keeper of the Graveyard dated my mother too. She is not doing well.

Vietnam - Don't Even Turn The Car Off

This Old Clotheshorse likes the sweater, the turned up sleeves, the tall neck. Oh yeah the flowers in the gun barrels too. So I am wondering about the hipster in question and turn to The Keeper of the Graveyard since I know he knows these things.

Turns out the hipster is none other than Joel Tournabene.

"So who's Joel Tournabene, Tom?"

"He's in the concrete biz. Mob guy. He was the grandson of Sam Giancana from Chicago. He did some yard work for me, and I hung out with him most of the time. He died in Mexico about five years ago. He was a good friend of [producer/composer] Hal Wilner, and he was a good guy. He had an errant--I don't know how to put this--he used to go around, and when he saw something he liked in somebody's yard, he would go back that night with a shovel, dig it up and plant it in your yard. We used to get a kick out of that. So I stopped saying, 'I really like that rosebush, I really like that banana tree, I really like that palm.' Because I knew what it meant. He came over once with twelve chickens as a gift. My wife said, 'Joel, don't even turn the car off. Turn that car around and take those chickens back where you found them.' He was a good friend, one of the wildest guys I've ever known."

"How's It Gonna End?"

"...Drag your wagon and your plow

Over the bones of the dead

Out among the roses and the weeds

You can never go back

And the answer is no

And wishing for it only

Makes it bleed

Joel Tornabene was broken

On the wheel..."

Down At The Tropicana

Thing is, we are down at the Tropicana.

Rikki is in the background,

soon to take the foreground.

What a vagabond.

Singing 'Easy Money' at The Troubadour

gotta ask yourself, what for?

Some romantic dreamer

stuck in the wrong time zone.

Gotta buy a pair of high heels

falling off your shoes in low style

Santa Monica Boulevard

looking like a little girl.

I wish I was in New Orleans

stealing my own car

with a beret and a mojo

taking it all too far.

Just swimming and imagining

feeling like a movie star

Little Amy playing pi-an-o

singing Wish Upon A Star.

Walking round the same streets

jazz side of life.

I really am that girl.

I'm really not that wife.

Young blood and coolsville

Chuck. E.'s out of love

lost in the bullshit

swallowed up in drugs.

Filling in the darkness

L.A. streets at night

things I saw as a little girl

empty and quiet.

Life, so serious

and hard

and cruel.

In the Salvage Business

This old clotheshorse was wondering about Chuck E. Weiss recently. That other old clotheshorse set him to the wise.

"Chuck E. Weiss is a mensch, a liar, a monkey, and a pathological Vaudevillian. He is a distant relative of Houdini's; he's a praying mantis riding an egret through a bad neighborhood. He's a reverend waving a pistol around. Basically, he's in the salvage business and you should do everything he tells you."

The Devil Incarnate

So Mr. Nick is thinking souls, is thinking imaginarium. Valentina is the prize, but the prize is the deal, the bet. There is not a song he has written that promises anything less.

Parnassus is trying to bring amazement to people, and not doing a very good job of it, because they aren't paying attention to him. But if they will enter his mirror, and allow their imagination to mix with his, they enter these extraordinary worlds, and they come back transcendent -- or they strangely disappear...

Straight Trees and Crooked Trees

My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.

Christmas Card

hey Charley I'm pregnant
and living on 9-th street
right above a dirty bookstore
off cuclid avenue
and I stopped taking dope
and I quit drinking whiskey
and my old man plays the trombone
and works out at the track.
and he says that he loves me
even though its not his baby
and he says that he'll raise him up
like he would his own son
and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday nite.
and hey Charley I think about you
everytime I pass a fillin' station
on account of all the grease
you used to wear in your hair
and I still have that record
of little anthony & the imperials
but someone stole my record player
how do you like that?
hey Charley I almost went crazy
after mario got busted
so I went back to omaha to
live with my folks
but everyone I used to know
was either dead or in prison
so I came back in minneapolis
this time I think I'm gonna stay.
hey Charley I think I'm happy
for the first time since my accident
and I wish I had all the money
that we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot
and I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car
every day dependin on how I feel.
hey Charleyfor chrissakes
do you want to know
the truth of it?I don't have a husband
he don't play the trombone
and I need to borrow money
to pay this lawyer
and Charley, heyI'll be eligible for parole
come valentines day.

Metropolitan Glide

We want to get your moves smooth enough for you to slide in on any dance floor with confidence!

Glide Dance Shoes are made from the highest quality leather and fabrics. All of our Ballroom and Round Dance shoes feature cushioned innersoles that provide great comfort and protect feet from shock and stress while at the same time being extremely lightweight. For added comfort, in addition to our cushioned innersoles, we also offer a padded sole for an additional charge. This provides extra protection to the dancer. All men's shoes are made from extremely soft, form fitting, glove like leather with a dense rubber heel.

Starting at just $99.00 Per Pair! (In Stock Only)

Testimonials:

*Just another happy customer throwing in my 2 cents about Glide Dance Shoes. Any time there has been a problem, they have been quick and most willing to resolve it to my satisfaction. Theirs are the only shoes I buy anymore, and I've ordered "street" shoes from them as well. They definitely should be included on any list! Barbara-dancer from MI

My wife (and others we know) have taken regular keds-type tennis shoes to the shoemaker to have split leather soles glued on. These work very well for workshop dancing. This can also be done with fancier shoes that might not have a sole appropriate for dancing. Glide has soles that you can order for this purpose if you dare to glue the soles on yourself.

*****For those on a tight budget, or those who want more than one pair of dance shoes, or those who just like doing things their way -- try creating your own soles. A piece of good leather (e.g. From Tandy Leather Company) and barge cement are the ingredients. Trace the sole of the shoe on the leather and cut it out. Rough up the current soles of the shoes with sandpaper or by scraping. Apply barge cement on both the bottom of the shoe and the leather. Let dry, then align and push together. Let the shoes dry. Trim. Dance - dancer in New England.

Knocky Parker told Bowlegged Sal They all know how to kick it in Cal They're playing this dope and this-a money tune Dancing baby with a 7 mile broom Things are bulging out the rafters like hell Down there at the Hush Hotel They’re jumping right out of their seats, dancing to the bran’ new beat Do……the Metropolitan Glide Do……the Metropolitan Glide

Take Me Home

Even an old clotheshorse like me succombs to silly girls

The Science of Sound

Great sound engineers are like scientists. They don't make value judgements. What's interesting about working with great engineers is that if you stop by the side of the road and drag something out of the ditch, throw it in the truck and bring it down to the studio, these guys will circle it like it's a moon rock. They'll mic it, hit it with a hammer, and find out the most expeditious way to approach it. Move it around to different parts of the room. They don't make value judgements. They're more like scientists. They get very subjective about the whole issue of sound. But you don't really know when you're going in what you're looking for. Sometimes you find it while you're there.

The Latest Dialogue: King of the Nightowls

This Old Clotheshorse has been moderating the Keeper of the Boneyard's Forums. Here is the latest dialogue:

Tom Waits is probably the most underrated songwriter & musician of my lifetime. He’s one of the most wonderful there is. I, uh, thought his wife was from Illinois? (And a different song) Or maybe that’s a different wife. Or she moved, who knows. Tom Waits is a jersey girl? Well there you see the perils of rewriting the last half of a paragraph without looking at the first half. G’night folks! Tom Waits is an over rated pianist or should I say penis! Leon Redbone. I play with the current bass player for Tom Waits. Waits is an interesting guy. Bless you Tom. Tom Waits has more talent in one finger than everybody else on the current Billboard Hot 100…have you ever seen him in concert, this guy makes the hair on my neck stand up…I have every CD he’s ever made. To me he’s up there with Dylan…He should run for president with maybe Paris Hilton as his vice president…they’d make a lovely pair..Personally, I agree w. everyone here that Waits is a national treasure. Closest I ever got to him was sharing a baggage carousel for a NY/LA flight that got in around 3AM LA time. I thought that was appropriate considering he’s the king of the night owls.

Blending Up The Entrails

This old clotheshorse gets up in the morning, lifts the lid on the blender and pours in some skimmed milk, a spoonful of frozen yogurt, a mix of fruit, orange juice, and maybe a handful of flax seed, and he's ready to face the day.

What about the Keeper of the Boneyard he wondered?

''Most songwriters, you can trace back what they've been listening to,'' the Keeper said. ''It's like you can go through the entrails of any animal and tell what the last three days were like. How do you reconcile your irreconcilable musical desires and dreams and wishes and memories? You may not be able to make one thing out of it. I think I feel more comfortable trying to visit different places. I don't know if I have anything that I've made that's a synthesis of the things I love. I don't think I leave it in the blender long enough.''